why should we search for January 3

why should we search for a house?
another mass of brick and grey
why can’t we just disappear in the night
dilute ourselves into the salty sea-water.
the scary wind blows into the window,
and we are undecided whether to follow the past
or avoid it.
sometimes you are near,
but I am dreaming of bridges,
which take you round and round and round.