silly as it seems April 4

Silly as it seems I want to jump a link
jump a bridge and then seem silly
with a grown-up beard.
Step-by-step she had said,
and clap when you learn a trick
and do it well
and not not fall when you lose your balance standing naked on a wall.

So I can throw my spite at all the other folks
who know more what to do
than what not
and then I turn around and go round a round
every day is a muddle of lights blinking in my eye
somedays end abruptly

and then there is no more.